The Lake's Calming Course - [[ KAI ]]

[ outfit. ]

There was a feeling in Kai's gut lately, where he simply had to distract himself. His vibes were off. He didn't have the amount of opportunities he used to in order to keep his mind occupied. Despite the chill in the air, he knew the best way to go about harsh feelings was to exercise. Run it out. Melt the bad with his sweat, wipe himself clean with the sting. That always worked, way back in the day. There was something about being alone with nature that was so relaxing, and he drank it in with each step, his radio down low as he made his way down the path. Sometimes the music of the Earth was all he needed. But sometimes he needed them sick beats, and he brought them along with him on his runs.

Down by the lake, he saw a figure that was in the midst of their own calming course. He paused his step, noting that they, too, were alone. And, well, he didn't really know them, not especially at least, but a simple thought took over: What if he joined them? Like? Made a new friend? How cool would that be?

His mum taught him to never approach a girl he didn't know without making sure that she was okay with his company. Another lesson was to never to approach a girl when she was exercising, period; "it's creepy," she told him. But... He knew Patricia. He was aware of her existence, they were in the same year, after all. And, well, yeah, he knew nothing else besides her name, but everyone liked company, right? Kai wasn't creepy, not really, was he?

Perhaps it was simply the need for friendship, but he approached her despite those basic teachings. "Ay yo, Odelia!" He greeted her with a wide smile, cheeks and lips flushed with the February weather and absolute embarrassment mostly, waving a sleeve-hidden hand, "Care for a yoga partner? I'm crashin' on some bad vibes, I'm in mad need of a cleansing, y'feel?" His radio played quietly at his hip, a gushy pop song that he paid no mind to.

As she heard her name she slowly opened her eyes. This lake was big and yet here she was with Kaimana in front of her. It was not him, nope it was all her. No one knew how awkwardly shy she was because the truth was she did not project that. She would simply nod at times and then go on to mind her own business. The best that she could understand what he said he had some things he needed to get off of his mind or out of his butt, either way. She looked at him and after a few minutes she spoke.

"Okay Kaimana."

Putting her leg down, she also put her head down. Just because she was talking to him did not mean that she had to make eye contact with him.

"Come on, sit please. Partnered yoga is always more interesting anyway."

She said as she motioned for him to officially join her. She could do this and not make it awkward.

"What has put you in such a way?"

He was a tad surprised to hear Patricia was down with his company. It simply proved how little he knew about her, he assumed, but that was a tad unimportant now. The important thing was that she agreed, and he took no hesitation to kick his boots off and join her side. The radio was off now, tucked aside with his other belongings, and he smiled his goofy smile at her, pleased to be welcomed so easily. Though, she didn't seem to want to look at him. That was okay, though! Half his family avoided eye contact like the plague, and he was pretty used to keeping his own gaze down (but he was simply so personable, it was unavoidable at times).

"Thanks a bunch, I'll be, like, the best yoga partner-- Or at least, top five," He joked, crossing his legs beneath him as he sat himself down.

"What has put you in such a way?"

"Ah," He wasn't expecting her to really be concerned. But it was kind of her to ask, and he deeply appreciated it. "You ever feel like you're just... Makin' a mess of things? Can't get along with people?" He said, squinting toward the lake, "That's all, y'know. It's no big deal, just bad vibes. Any reason you're out here? Just want the exercise? I can feel that." Admittedly, Kai was rambling a bit, and he scratched the back of his neck, unsure and talkative due to his nerves. He didn't want to bother her at all, simply spend time with her. Befriend her. Keep the day lighthearted, as she would likely prefer, too.

She turned her head up as he sat down. A mess of things? Oh like life smacking you at the turn of every chance, raining down on you every time it got a chance and just all around feeling awkward about all this weird shit that was going on with your mind and body and emotions all at once?! Also, do not even get her started on family members.

"Sometimes,"

she said much more reserved this time.

"Most the time I just sleep it off. Other times I.."

She noticed him scratching the back of his neck. Why was he rambling, wasn't she supposed to be the shy one. That slightly made her shake her head which caused her two ponytails to move slightly. Reaching her hand up, she finally looked at him, straight in the eyes.

"You seem more nervous than me. You're not bothering me if that's what you think. The company is good for me.If something is bothering you it's a big deal, I mean it's not earth changing but it effects you which makes it a big deal to you."

She stop staring at his eyes but come on two different colors, how almost amazing yet strange enough you'd have to be confident to not have it bother you so what had him questioning if something he had did or perhaps was going to do had or would make such a mess.

"What happened?"

"Most the time I just sleep it off. Other times I..."

Kai looked over at her now, and she seemed to shrink inside herself. He was very used to being the one that was open about his feelings while the other person wilted, and it was something he wished wasn't so common in people. But he didn't know Patricia, despite how much he wanted to press. He simply couldn't make himself. "Hey, it's cool," He told her, reassuringly. Sometimes people simply needed patience before they could speak. Kai was not one of those people. And he would gladly guide the conversation if it meant that she was content. She must have been the type to prefer helping people than themselves. And that was tragic in itself, but he couldn't help but deeply respect that level of selflessness.

But she finally looked at him, straight in the eyes, and said something so thoughtful, yet so poetic. "It's not earth changing but it effects you which makes it a big deal to you." That's exactly true, which made it Earth changing for him, himself. He was so quick to shove his feelings away so that he wouldn't burden people. That feeling he had when he begged Llewellyn to stay, where he felt so unbelievably selfish for expressing himself. It was a lot like that. Filled with regret, trying to keep everyone else content. He was unsure if he could ever let that guard down, but. "Wow," Kai nodded, "Yeah, you're so right, girl. Damn."

"What happened?"

"Well," He stretched his arms out in front of him, "My, like, best bro said he didn't want to, like? Hang out with me anymore. Like, he told me to fuck off, y'know? He said it wasn't my fault, but wouldn't tell me why. I just kinda... Let him go, I guess?" Bicolored eyes looked over at her, over his shoulder, "It's like? Aggravating. Because it's obviously my fault, right? And I just keep thinkin' 'bout it." But, it was helping him to talk about it. In truth, he wasn't just thinking about the fight, but Llewellyn in general. Small things, things they used to do together. He appreciated it while he had it, and now that it was gone, he felt like he was obsessing over it. But he left those details out, as he didn't think they were important; what was important was it happened, and he was mulling over everything else.

And, of course, he too wasn't even going to get started on family.

"Rejection."

Wow all of a sudden her voice was whisper like. Just saying the word made her think about her own friend. As stupid as it made her she still wanted that dumb weirdo.

"It's almost like everything was good and now out of nowhere it's not. The sad part is even though you want to fix it, it's like how."

It was strange how she just wanted to make it better.

"Maybe they just need space. It's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault. Sometimes you just have to give them what they want so they can realize they over reacted. Doesn't mean your bro is any less your bro, he might just be as distraught as you are currently."

She started to tell him to capture his bro and make him stay with him forever. That was what she was going to do. Yep, Cadence would have wished he would have just gave in once she was done.

"It sucks though, to care for someone and almost feel like they do not feel the same anymore. I mean it happens with friends all the time."

Now she was sad a little.

"I think if that happened to me, I'd be all obsessive compulsive."

She said as she stood up in front of him. She then squatted down so that he could see her. Now that she thought about it she did not do rejection well.

"I would be all up in their face like so.."

She said as she put her forehead up to Kaimana's. This girl was slowly coming out of that shy shell.

"Then..I'd simply say..why aren't we friends anymore?"

By this time she had her arm up across Kaimana's throat, gently you know since she was not really mad at him.

"..that's just me though..you're much better than that I'm sure."

Patricia began speaking, but Kai could tell she wasn't talking about him. After all, they had just began talking, and there was no way she would know he was thinking all these exact things. She could continue and say that it happens often enough, but it was so obviously coming from within, and he was beginning to regret speaking at all. He wasn't sure if he released some sort of secret pain from within her, but she seemed hurt, or maybe he was just seeing things, feeling like a burden. But Patricia was being so real, so raw, and he nodded along with her, agreeing with her.

But the idea that Llewellyn no longer felt the same about him? The stinging in his chest tightened, tracing the lining of his throat. For a moment, he couldn't really speak. The idea that Llewellyn didn't care about him. He had left so quickly, but Kai could never blame him. If he had to go, he had to go, and there was no use in trying to console Kai. There was no way to console as well as get his own way. It didn't work like that. But... It felt so broken.

Suddenly, she was squatting before him.

"I... I don't think I have it in me to be--" He began, shaking his head, but her face was close to his, her arm rose suddenly to his throat. Kai quickly put together this puzzle, and he knew Patricia was, quite possibly, a frightening force behind a shy guise. He couldn't help but smile, large and silly, because it was kind of absolutely rad how cool she looked in that moment, even in theory.

"I don't think I could do that to him," Kai squinted at himself, almost deeply in thought, "I mean, like..." He paused then, picturing himself body slamming Llewellyn, their faces close as Kai interrogated him. For one, his cheeks were flushed at the thought of doing something so embarrassingly aggressive, but also... He couldn't imagine that happening without Llewellyn fighting back, broing out, wrestling him like they used to. He shook his head, "Nah. I don't think it'd work," He chuckled softly then, but remained in place. Patricia could be as gentle as possible, but he really didn't want to test her waters.

"I am... Obsessing over this, though. Do you think it'd, like, work, though?" Kai began, flip flopping, as he wasn't one to doubt, uh, sound advice.

Her hair gently swayed underneath the slow wind's motion across the lake. Honestly this was just supposed to be some random yoga session with some pretty set of eyes and now it was..hell she did not know..random and fun and exciting..She backed up a second and accessed the situation. She wanted to jump on him. Not verbally, but physically. Yoga with a partner was not good unless you were doing some up close and personal goodness but she did not know him like that.

"Ninety percent no, ten percent yes."

Obsession? She cocked an eyebrow slowly.

"You can not just go off the handle with something like this. First you would need to test the water..bait a hook, figuratively of course. Know said person's limits and slowly push them until they feel so broken that they have no choice but to need you."

That was wrong but friends only come once in a lifetime.

"Want to need you and need to want you because you're the only one who understands them completely. It's not an obsession when having you there as a friend is in said person's best interest."

Also there were some things you can't un-thread.

"Friendship is a carefully intricate piece of who we are as young children and or adults. It's not to be erased, only appear loosened to give the other person space is all. So don't overbear on your friend, but do what you have to do to tip the scales in your favor to ensure he longs for the friendship that he initiates wanting it back, if that makes sense."

He listened to her carefully, his lips parted in puzzlement, and Kai was more deep in thought now than he had ever been, possibly, in his entire life. There was something about the way she spoke that made her words seem almost academic, like she was some zen yoga guru that knew exactly what she was talking about and cared deeply for Kai's well being and feelings. The type that could possibly do it professionally, definitely even. He pulled a thread from the hem of his sweatpants, taking in her words and contemplating how he could use this wisdom.

Initially, he wondered if she meant, use Llewellyn's weaknesses to his gain, to pull him back in. Which not only sounded a tad mean, but Kai wasn't quite sure what Llewellyn's weaknesses even were. The guy always seemed flawless to Kai, whom loved every inch of him from the inside out, and that was possibly where he went wrong. His mother always said that he loved more than anyone else she knew, and she said it was a good thing. It was good to openly love one's friends. Was that what he did wrong with Llewellyn?

"Y'know..." Kai began, nodding slowly at first before it sped up frantically, "I think I know exactly what ye' mean, girl. I know exactly what I need to do with my bro. I gotta like... Y'know... Show him the good that he's missing out. I should, like, smother him in kindness n' shit, he's always so bad about that. Like. I gotta be so fuckin' nice that he's like, 'Wow, that dude's, like, the best bro ever'." He paused then, thinking on her last bit of information for a moment.

"Do y'think... I should, like, meet up with another bro and bro it up with him in front of Llewellyn and like, show how gnarly of a time we could have, but like? Indie-reckt-ly?" Kai snapped his finger then, pointing at Patricia like it was all her idea. It was a line of thinking that he had never dabbled in before, and it felt almost too clever, but a bit... not okay for his tastes. But he wasn't quite sure why.

"Damn, girl, you're so wise," Kai grinned wide and slapped his knee, growing more and more pleased the more he thought about this.

Oh dear. Welp, too far in to pull back now.

"Lightly. Whatever you do, you want to do it lightly..not smother so much."

She did not want anyone's face rubbed in it. Besides doing that might anger the male and anger was, well interesting but if it blew up she would not be blamed so lightly.

"You do not want to draw suspicion from your friend because he knows you also."

It had the potential to be fantastic though, but she had to look at it from all angles. If Kai blew the top on such a plan that had to be delicately plated it also had the potential to crash and burn hard. Yoga terms..

"Okay, think of it like this..Dharma..Bhakti..Guru..and Shanti. Basically truth,devotion, from darkness to light, and finally peace."

She closed her eyes and thought about those herself and then explained.

"Your friendship is something you have always been truthful about with your friend I'm assuming. You were devoted, heck you still are but somehow the two of you ended up in this dark place that only the two of you can drag yourself out of back into a light happy place and finally achieve peace for the both of you. So when you're pushing forth with your plan and hopefully sprinkling it lightly you can remember this since it's all in yoga terms and achieve what you want, which is your friend back."

She looked at him.

"Well what are you waiting for? Go."